The One Thing That Cripples Your Growth and Success

by Jacob Melaard

I was spending time with one of my former clients the other day, and we got to the subject of Success.

She mentioned how she didn’t feel successful in her business start-up 2 years on, even when there was loads of sales being made, the numbers are in the black, and an idea has turned into a physical product.

What is success for you? I asked as I was curious, as how she seemed rather successful in my view. You see, when we first met, she was broke, depressed, and suicidal, and now she got this company, employees, profits and had a completely different outlook on life.

It seemed to me she was very successful.

It turned out that she was using the C word all the time.

And it was hurting her big time.

Now I’m not one who is shy to use profanity, but the C-word is one I’m avoiding. especially when it’s about people, business and life.

And for those who wonder what the C word is…it is the word ‘Comparing’.

The reason why Comparison is crippling your growth is that by comparing yourself to something or someone, you are robbed of your energy, livelihood and creativity.

Because, let’s face it, we usually compare ourselves unfavourably to the people who have ‘made it’.

We rarely compare ourselves and our business success to the shop assistant, the line cook, or the sales rep who is trying to sell us hand cream with ‘real salt from the dead sea’.

We usually compare our self to icons like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and only consider to be successful when we are household names around the world, being mentioned in the same sentence as Jeff Bazos Marc Shultz, and Oprah.

And it's not the comparison you make with others that is crippling you.

It’s the standard of comparison that cripples.

Mark Manson writes in his brilliant book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” how Dave Mustaine, the founder of the hugely successful rock band Megadeath, lived most of his life angry and upset because the band that he got kicked out of as a starting musician was Metallica.

And because Metallica sold millions of records more than Megadeath, Mustaine admitted in an interview many years later, that he couldn’t help but still consider himself a failure at times.
Despite all he had accomplished, the millions of albums sold, the sold out, worldwide concert tours and millions of dollars in the bank, he still saw himself and felt like a failure.

And let’s not stop there. Let’s not just say, well I am not going to compare myself anymore, because, well….we are humans.

We live in a day and age that ‘comparison’ is inevitable. In a time of 24 hour TV, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and a whole load of other ‘platforms to look good’, it’s impossible to NOT compare yourself.

“So what then?”, I hear you think. “If comparison is crippling my growth and success, and I can’t NOT compare myself, what do I do?

It’s about your thinking…
It’s about how you think and believe your thoughts.
It’s about the metrics you use to measure your success.
We have our metrics for comparison set in our disadvantage.

For example, if I compare my golf ability with that of say, Tiger Woods, I am an inferior golfer, NOT an inferior person.

If I compare my ability to write, with that of a 3-year-old, I am a superior writer, but not a superior person.

For your business, rather than having the bottom line as the ‘yardstick for success,’ how about you use your IMPACT as your stick? Or have a metric of sustainability and positive impact?

A question I ask my clients when they are comparing is; 
“If you had a choice between having low or average profits from your business and love every moment you are working, or have massive profits, but feel miserable and stressed out in your business, what would you choose?”

The answer seems obvious, and that is because YOU decide the metric.

You are in charge of making the rules when it comes to comparing yourself, so you might as well set it up in your favour. Not to show off on your Facebook page, but to inspire yourself, knowing you and your business make a difference.

I’m sure you are more creative, productive, and effective when you LOVE what you do.
Those factors are not determined by your financial success.

In the words of the late David Bowie;
“What I like to do is to make a difference with the work I do”

Remember, you set the metric, you make the rules.
Now go and make a difference on YOUR terms with YOUR metric for success.

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About the Author

Jacob is a Truth coach.

As a Transformational coach, speaker, Bestselling Author, father and husband, he inspires people to speak their truth with themselves and the world.

He works with people who want to speak their truth while living and playing full out!
Jacob is certified as a Master NLP, hypnotherapy, and Timeline Therapy practitioner, Divorce prevention coach and is a Certified Strategic Intervention Coach through the Anthony Robbins coaching Academy (RMT). Email him at or visit